Whoa man! That guy's pregnant

Thomas Beatie is pregnant. Yes, you read right. A man named Thomas, who hails from Oregon, allows he is five months pregnant. Perhaps a little background would be helpful here.

Thomas was actually born Tracy Lagondino, Ms. Tracy Lagondino. One day when Tracy was older she looked around the house and, upon seeing she owned way too many shoes, decided she wanted to ditch this female thing and become a man. She also wanted to see what it would feel like to be able to parallel park.

Ms. Lagondino, a.k.a. Thomas Beatie, is what you call a transgendered person. If you have a problem getting your head wrapped around such a thing just think of the new cars that can operate on either gas or ethanol.

You might say Tracy/Thomas is sort of like a Chevy El Camino, a vehicle that can't seem to decide if it wants to be a car or a truck.

So Tracy has this surgery. She had some of her female parts left in place while other parts were detached and discarded. The reproductive organs were left in play because, as Thomas told no less than Oprah Winfrey, “I actually opted not to do anything to my reproductive organs because I wanted to have a child someday. I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn't define who I am.”

Sounds to me that something needs to help this gentleman define himself as a person because he's not doing such a hot job at it himself. And yes, pregnancy is a process, a long process that the Good Lord intended for the female of the species. Furthermore Thomas, I have it on good authority that childbirth is an extremely painful “process.” What an inconvenient way to get in touch with your feminine side.

Mr. Beatie continued, “I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child.” Well, he doesn't think much of himself now does he? It would seem that if he has a right to have a baby then I would have that same right myself. If it's okay, I think I'll pass on the exercising of that right just now. Check back with me after I've lost my mind. Besides, I'd make a terribly unattractive pregnant man, what with my bony legs and all.

I saw a picture of the mother/daddy to be and I have to admit he ain't a bad looking old boy. As a matter of fact, when Thomas was Tracy she was a finalist in the Miss Teen Hawaii pageant. According to Mr. Beatie it was about that time that he decided he was a man trapped in a woman's body and headed off to see the old sawbones. The doc gave him a couple quarts of testosterone, which led him to grow a beard and a mustache and God only knows what else.

Thomas then met Nancy and they became a couple.

Due to some unfortunate maladies, Nancy could not have any more children, (she has two from a former marriage.) After what I'm certain had to be some fascinating discussion on the matter, the couple decided to inseminate Thomas and have him carry their baby. Apparently everything went according to Hoyle because Thomas showed up on Oprah last week looking hideously pregnant.

I heard a sound bite where the mother/father to be quipped to Oprah that he couldn't find a store that sold “man-ternity clothes” and that he had been forced to wear his “fat jeans” during the first five months of his pregnancy. Now that's a telling statement when you think about it. No man that I know would ever utter the phrase “fat jeans.” Apparently the surgeon left in a measurable amount of Tracy while he was using his knife to carve out Thomas. “Fat jeans.” For Heaven's sake, Thomas.

If this man wants to carry and give birth to a baby then more power to him. I hope the pregnancy is safe and that the baby is born happy and healthy. I even hope that after the birth the three of them show up on

Oprah to share their joy with America.

A male carrying and giving birth to a baby. It'll be interesting to see if he's man enough.

Benjie Watts of Gamewell is a columnist for the News-Topic. If you want to leave a message for him him call the TopicLine, 757-4300, category number 4335.